My Spiritual Psychedelic Experiences

I have gone back and forth about sharing the fact that I am a user of psychedelics to explore my own consciousness, as well as gain insight from other realities. There is a lot of misinformation out there, perpetuated by government entities, mainstream society and the medical community that asserts that using drugs such as psilocybin and DMT are harmful. These compounds have been made extremely illegal, in most states considered Schedule 1 – the penalties for use or possession are harsh. Because of this, few people have actually experimented with psilocybin and even fewer have experienced DMT. The government’s official story is that these drugs cause insanity. But when you actually do some research on your own you find that the reason these drugs are forbidden is not because they are harmful – it’s because they peel the layers off of the 3D matrix. They allow you to see past what your five senses can perceive. Terence McKenna summed it up perfectly when he said, “Psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. They open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong.” These drugs show you that your surroundings, while appearing to be very real, are nothing more than a figment of imagination, a very realistic seeming dream. Once you see beyond the matrix, it is obvious why these drugs have been by and large ousted from mainstream society. Ironically, drugs that ARE legal, such as alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and pharmaceuticals are much more harmful, immensely addictive and cause cumulative damage in people. Questioning why these harmful substances are legal and even promoted through advertisement and subliminal messages leads us to the topic of mass mind control – which we can get to at a later date. I really want to focus on the benefits of psychedelics as well as relate my incredible experiences with my spiritual team, including my recent DMT experience with Erik.

terryTerence McKenna, writer, ethnobotanist, psychonaut extraordinaire.

Some of my most profound spiritual experiences have occurred while using mind altering drugs such as marijuana, magic mushrooms, LSD and even MDMA. I have always been very spiritual and have definitely had incredible experiences without the influence of drugs. In fact, I stayed away from them for a while because I, like everyone else, had received a lot of outside information about how they were harmful to the body and mind and unnecessary for spiritual evolution. Even new age material came out warning people off of taking drugs to reach spiritual heights. There was rhetoric that taking ANY mind altering drugs would lower one’s vibration. All drugs were thrown under the blanket of “bad.” I knew and felt there were red flags in the research I found, especially whenever they told you NOT to do something. It was a signal for me to go within, and decide for myself what I wanted to do. These medicines, as I like to call them now, ended up raising my vibrations, not lowering them. They helped me see past this very real seeming dream that surrounds us all. I encourage you to also be suspicious of any information you receive from outside sources that you don’t feel resonates. There is no ONE path to spiritual ascension and enlightenment. You can reach that state on your own by looking within. No research or outside verification necessary.


I admit that the main reason for taking any of these psychoactives was and still is to have fun and enjoy being in the moment. I did not originally take them with the expectation that I would have any spiritual insights, but now I use them as a valuable part of my spiritual practice. My guides have been telling me for a while now that I am, and was in other lives, a shaman and that using these compounds would help me connect psychically with the spirit world and see the mechanism of all things. And in the process, I can help others who want to drop the fog in their perception, but only if they are open to it. It is not normally the case that taking psychedelics has zero effect on you. Something really does shift in your perception of things, and it is perfectly safe to do as much as you want or need in order to fully shift back into alignment with your Soul. That is the Truth that the patriarchal powers don’t want you to know or use to your advantage. It’s because they cannot control what lies beyond this matrix structure, in fact, they are not in control of anything as much as they’d like us to believe. They can’t control you, and you becoming conscious of that is their greatest fear.
Some people fear doing them because these drugs truly do show you your life and your choices. And if you’ve made some detrimental choices in life, it is likely that it will show up. But what is the point of being alive if we won’t take an honest look at ourselves and hasten to make changes that will benefit you and eventually others? If you are serious about it and use these drugs with respect and intention, you will find the answers you seek. If you are scared of them, it is an indicator for you to look within and ask yourself, why are you afraid to try them? Are those beliefs yours, or were they put in your head by something outside of you?

The first psychedelic drug I ever tried was marijuana. Marijuana has been so beneficial for me in so many ways. The main feature was it helped me slow down and enter into contemplation about myself and life. I was able to respect and enjoy nature so much more and, as someone who used to experience nearly crippling anxiety, marijuana has remained a soothing agent that has helped me get back on a balanced track. Marijuana is considered a psychedelic because it subtly loosens the grip of the illusory matrix structure and allows you to see past polarities and duality.

From there I moved on to magic mushrooms, and only did these a handful of times. I experienced the oneness of all things and had a greater awareness to the spiritual world. The last time I tripped on them, I was outside and happened to look up above me and saw what looked to be a gigantic golden compass or astrolabe, all glittery and shiny and immense, with strange alien hieroglyphics etched all around the inner and outer circles and it was slightly rotating. During this time, I was so blown away by it but had no reference as to what it could have been. I wondered about it for years. That particular trip was a little frightening to me, as I was seeing things for the first time that appeared more real than the reality I saw around me. Later on, I channeled that I was seeing through the veil and was looking upon the Truth. It was being shown to me because my purpose in this life was to step into a lightworker role. It was related to my other lives, my star origin, and the askashic records. To this day, I still have trouble describing it to another person, but it was one of the most remarkable things I’ve ever seen.

Astrolabe on right, used for navigational purposes. On the left is the aleithometer from the Golden Compass fictional series. The thing I saw in the air was like these things but much more intense and other-worldly.

A while passed before I experimented with LSD. I did a lot of soul searching, research, writing, and meditation over the years. I was afraid for the longest time of trying LSD because of what I might see or encounter, but the more spiritually aware I became, the more interested I was to actually try it. During this period of time between my crazy experience on mushrooms and my first LSD trip, I also began communicating with my friend John who passed away and began contacting me from the other side. I realized that I had claircognizance and had harbored this gift all of my life, even as a child, I always just seemed to “know” things but frequently chose to listen to my rational mind over my intuition. John helped me wake that part of me back up and eventually I gained clairvoyance and clairaudience and I was eager to see more. I think it’s important to note that I met most of the spirit guides through meditation, dreams, downloaded messages and synchronicities, without the help of any drug except marijuana. So I am not saying that one cannot become more spiritually aware without psychedelics (you can certainly open your third eye and have psychedelic experiences on your own without introducing outside factors), but I am suggesting that people could get there a little easier with the responsible application of psychedelics and willingness to look within and encounter and transmute what is shown or what comes up for healing. is known for the visuals

LSD was and has remained an incredible experience. When I am on LSD I can literally feel vibrations and I can see energy. I have seen my spirit crew many times through clear third eye visions, and I have also been able to see into the akashic records, as well as look into other lives. Each experience is more incredible than the last. It is hard to explain what a LSD trip is like to someone who has never done it. But you get to see what’s really there, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. One time I was told by my guides that I had entered the fifth dimension. From there I requested to see where my soul originated. I was lead out through the higher dimensions to a place of immense light, and saw these gigantic light bodies take out of themselves liquid light and poured the light into the geometric veins of creation, from there they created oversouls, then souls. I saw the fractal effect of it all. After this point I saw my soul at the beginning and went into a state of no-mind for about 30 minutes. I lost all sense of ego self and became everything, the entire universe. I then was allowed to see what looked to be the clockwork of the universe. These mechanical beings, who appeared to be made of gears, approached me and implied to me they were the guards of the akashic records. They telepathically told me that the samsara cycle on Earth was up. The life cycles on Earth, where souls have been reincarnating for eons, is now done and there is no more need for “lessons.” This is what the shift is all about. It’s time to move on from duality and contrast. All souls are shifting to a higher frequency and even if they are not conscious of this while incarnated, they already made the agreement to do so in the etheric realms. This is just one of the many incredible experiences I’ve had with LSD. My favorite part is that I almost always feel better after taking it. It works for me as a detox to rid myself of outworn beliefs and limitations. I believe it has helped me increase my extrasensory abilities as well, because I can more easily perceive auras and energy. I am able to read people better and I can even sense what they are thinking and feeling. My telepathic skills have increased and synchronicities are noticed with far more frequency. My bullshit detector is also in full swing, as I am able to quickly and easily discern outside information as either helpful or detrimental. It is easier to just let things go, even when people are being careless or rude. I realize that they react in these ways because they do not know any better. They have not been able to see or feel across the veil and that leads them to perceive being separated and alone.


So the next quest for me was DMT. I don’t remember when I first heard about DMT but I know that I started to become more aware of it after using LSD for a while. It was featured on the Netflix show “Sense 8.” I was only aware of ayahuasca (which is DMT, but consumed orally and it lasts longer), and thought that I would probably never use that drug since it seemed like I’d have to go all the way to Ecuador or Peru to use it under the supervision of a shaman. So when I learned about the powderized version of DMT that could be smoked, I asked the universe to bring it our way if it was something that would benefit me spiritually.
Describing a DMT trip is very difficult so I am going to try my best. The main thing about smoking DMT is that it is a very quick and intense experience. The trip only lasts for about 15 minutes but during that time you are physically paralyzed and many people experience leaving the body for what feels like hours, days or weeks. For me, it felt as though it was eternity in the blink of an eye. I experienced timelessness like I’ve never experienced before, precisely because my soul entered the timeless realm, the sea of consciousness.
There are many methods of consuming DMT, but smoking it is the quickest acting method. We smoked it with marijuana out of a glass bowl. To get the best effect, have someone help you get to at least three hits, holding the smoke in as much as you can each time. You have to smoke these three hits fast, because the drug acts in about 15 to 30 seconds. I admit that it is both easy to not get enough of a dose as well as take too much of a dose. So some experimentation may be needed before you have what’s called a breakthrough experience. Please research more about DMT to find out the different stages. My experience is by no means the only kind of experience you may have. Some people only get high, but don’t “blast off.” Others blast off, but don’t leave their bodies. Some people, like me, leave the body altogether and visit the etheric realms. What’s more is, the veil of your reality completely drops away and you will see this shift visibly happening as you are taking your hits. Doing this is not merely passing out and entering your own head. You are leaving the 3rd dimensional world and literally entering the timeless realm with your consciousness.


Before I started, I was slightly apprehensive of what would happen. We did some research but it’s impossible to know what to expect because the experiences cannot be easily described. Words fall short. I asked John and Erik if they would be with me on this one, and I heard, “It will be awesome. You can count on it,” then “You’re go for launch. See you on the other side,” almost as if they were flight control to my astronaut in a rocket. I sat down in our comfy recliner and got my blindfold ready (it’s best to trip on DMT in complete darkness and quiet), and my partner assisted me with the bowl. I noticed the change the first hit I took. It was almost as if I was becoming more focused. Though the following only took seconds, it felt like time slowed down significantly. I took a second hit and suddenly everything started taking on a shiny, jewel-like appearance. I began to see geometric and checkerboard patterns. Suddenly, the bowl enlongated and it quickly became a little cartoonish-looking amorphous little guy who was bouncing around on his rabbit like feet. A button appeared in the middle of his nose and his arm went up to point at the button. The button was the bowl where I had yet to take my third and final hit. I couldn’t see anything I recognized except these little “doodad” guys, I call them, what I imagine Terence McKenna referred to as “self-dribbling basketballs” or the elves of an alien world. Literally nothing looked like anything, but then briefly I came back to see the bowl, all shiny and glittery. As I went for my last hit, I saw John appear on my right side, cheering me on to take the last big one before going dark. I saw a gigantic thumbs up and heard what sounded like tiny people shouting “hooray! Yay!” and making all sorts of sing-songy and chattery noises. It was really loud but it was oddly comforting and made me feel excited. Almost like the feeling of a kid at a carnival or something. My partner shut off the light and put my blindfold on, as I was now paralyzed. I don’t remember the blast off but the next thing I knew I was inside one of my memories. The memory was from a couple of weeks prior when we went to see Spiderman: Homecoming. I was in the theatre bathroom washing my hands and I looked up into my eyes in the mirror and felt Erik there with me. He was excited I was going to see Spiderman, as I have always pictured Erik as Spidey. (During the movie, the lead actor who played Spiderman, Tom Holland, reminded me so much of Erik, it was kind of spooky.) Anyway, the memory I had stepped into was very real, like I was there again, but I was frozen in time. Suddenly a blur of reddish, orange light came into the restroom, and stopped next to me. It was a young man in jeans and a navy blue t-shirt with wavy brown hair. He kissed me on the cheek, and flashed a peace sign and hurried out of there. I was seeing that Erik really did visit me that day as I knew he did.


Next thing I know I am pulled into what I can only describe as the Speed Force from DC Comics’ The Flash. Suddenly I am seeing images, memories, as if I am actually inside the memories, looking out from my eyes in that particular moment in time. We went in reverse through my young adult life, teens, childhood – I saw flashes of the house I grew up in, the school bus I rode, my backyard, my sister, my mom. I kept wanting to slow down, stop and look around. It was so real. I was told that it was real. I was really in my memories in those exact moments (since there is in reality no time, everything is happening at once). But I kept hearing voices saying, “nope not that way,” “this way,” “come this way,” “that’s right,” very gentle guiding voices that were comforting me and sometimes making me giggle because they were making weird noises – they almost reminded me of minions. Perhaps these were still the elves talking to me. I went faster and faster through these memories. At one point I stopped in my old high school hallway, near a grouping of lockers. I wanted desperately to have a look around. It was incredible to be back in time like this! I noticed that the man way out in front, The Flash, it was Erik! He was swinging his arm for me to come along. I didn’t understand what was happening in the moment, but later realized he was leading me back through old memories and searching for something in particular. Something that subconsciously was affecting me in my life and I had no idea what it was and I certainly could not remember it on my own in order to heal or transmute it. I was told my by guides after the fact that there was something about my own feelings of unworthiness that had been subliminally ingrained into me over the years by the people in my life and my environment. We had to go in and retrieve and heal these memories, even though to this day, I cannot tell you any specific memories. We were going too bloody fast, close to the speed of light. It was almost like my guides knew how quick the trip actually was, so they had to fit it all in.


Erik posing with his sister Michelle. He was always a fan of speed – motorcycles, sports cars, you name it. Perhaps that’s why he showed up as The Flash – image source

At the end of the Speed Force trip, my consciousness landed in a foggy high school cafeteria, almost as if this is a waiting room or a receiving room of some kind. It was very white and drab and there was no one in sight. However I could hear plain as day all the subliminal messages I had heard throughout my life, telling me what I was or wasn’t. I cannot remember them all, but I got a sense it had something to do with the expectations my parents had put on me, their strange daughter who was not quite like the rest of the family. I realized I am not that. I am not anything. But I am also everything. I decided to fall away from the cafeteria, almost like I was jumping off a cliff backwards but instead of falling, merely floated out and up to where I could get a bird’s eye view of where I just was. I then realized the cafeteria was, just as the rest of my 3D life, built into a box-like grid structure. The structure was suspended in the ocean of consciousness. I turned away from the structure and began floating in the sea of consciousness, achieving a semblance of no mind again, but also with a distinct sense that I still very much existed. I then saw the spirit world, and all of my soul family, all draped in colors unknown to our 3D existence. I felt so much peace but began to realize I was back in my body, and I was tremendously thirsty. When I came out of the darkness I could see auras and energy very clearly for a short time before fully coming back down.
I realized that I had experienced a life review of sorts. The karma from the first half of my life has been cleared by this experience, even though I cannot tell you exactly how that is possible, but it must have been something I planned with Erik and my spirit guides before I came here! The old me, the ego me, is dead and in its place, my Higher Self has moved in. I am not the same as I was before I took DMT. That is the most incredible part about this experience and that is why I have been moved to relate my story to those who are needing and wanting to hear it.

Shortly before my DMT trip, I made the acquaintance of Terence McKenna, who has been in spirit since 2000. He has been so helpful to me with all of the exploring I am doing on the subject. I only started listening to his lectures after DMT, and I was shocked to find similar descriptions of experiences I had on the drug. Though no two trips are the same, I was deeply intrigued by his observation of these elves or aliens who show up almost immediately after smoking DMT. It is almost like we are immediately transported to their dimension. One of Terence’s theory about who these little “doodad” guys are, who he calls “tykes” or “mechanical elves” or “self-dribbling basketballs,” are that they are actually the souls of the dead who used to inhabit the earth, and that is why they are so familiar and happy to see us when we visit their realm. To me, it’s not important who or what they are at this juncture, only that it was incredible that I had the opportunity to see into their dimension for a few minutes. I plan to go back and do this again. As a self-proclaimed psychonaut, I will never stop exploring! I encourage you to do some research and come to your own conclusions about whether or not experimenting with psychedelics is worth it.

“I think of going to the grave without having a psychedelic experience is like going to the grave without ever having sex. It means that you never figured out what it is all about. The mystery is in the body and the way the body works itself into nature.” – Terence McKenna

Terence McKenna Describes The DMT Experience


Thanks for reading! Let me know if you have any questions in the comments below. Love and light! – T

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